Loving Imperfections Perfectly

Celebrating My Successes!

2011-02-26T19:37:00.000-08:00

I had a lot of struggles this month (all with food), but I also have had some successful moments. I think acknowledging the struggles, and celebrating the successes sounds like a great, healthy idea to me :)

The weight loss is moving, slowly but moving. I lost 3lbs. I guess I should be excited that a loss is a loss, especially since its been nearly impossible to get the scale moving. But if you saw the amount and type of exercise I am doing you would be just as frustrated as I am! And lets be honest that's not even a 1lb per week. Which is pretty sad, especially so early in the game. I have been tracking my food intake, as well as my exercise. I think its definitely making me aware, and holding me accountable. I can remember a few times when I thought twice about what I was eating. But obviously there is room for improvement. This month I focused a lot on getting in the calorie range I need to be, which didnt mean that the choices in that calorie range were the best ones. One thing I really want to try to get under control is my pop intake. Drinking my calories isnt doing me any favor. And I fell off the wagon more times than Id like with meals. Dinner was always so hard with my busy schedule. Lack of planning...I think I talked about that before! So yeah I guess I can see why I only lost 3lbs. In March I am going to focus on the types of food in that calorie range. That would definitely mean not allocating for a 20 ounce of pop everyday! I know that my thyroid disease has some part in my lack of weight loss, but after my last appointment I am hopeful that it soon will not be a factor. We have made great improvements in my health, leveling out my vitamin/hormone deficiencies. We have moved onto balancing out my thyroid levels, and soon we will be entering the last stage that focuses on getting my metabolism where it needs to be. I guess I wont have an excuse than would I? :p

Im really trying hard to not focus on the number, but focus more on how I feel. Because I feel freakin fantastic! So that takes me to a celebration of being fit. I have made great strides in my workouts. I have been doing interval training on the treadmill, and my workouts have reached a whole new level! I am running at 6.5-6.8mph! I never thought Id be at that pace. I feel fitter and fitter with each workout. Ive also been doing strength training at home twice a week minimum, and am pleased with how using my own body weight can build great muscles! In March Id like to continue with the workouts Ive been doing, and also get back into regular yoga classes. Its always been a great addition to my workout regime. And I could use the stress reliever!

So there you have it, February updates. Looking forward to seeing what March brings!

All Part Of The Journey....

2011-02-02T16:50:00.000-08:00

Struggles that is. I know everyone has them, and knew that it was only a matter of time before they would surface...but damn they are throwing me for a loop!

This week has been difficult health wise. I have been feeling extremely exhausted and fatigued. I thought part of this was from some work drama that has left me emotionally drained. But I think its more than that. Usually when my thyroid levels drop really low I get like this. I have even been napping, which is a huge sign that its probably thyroid related. I haven't napped in months! I have a doctors appointment next week so it will be good to see where Im at, and if this is related. When I get like this I really lose motivation. I just get lazy and rather lounge and rest than do anything else. So for the last two days thats exactly what Ive done. Been a lazy bum! But Im planning on changing that tomorrow. so early to bed, early to rise. And a Jillian Michael's workout awaits me at 5:30am! Think a mood and energy boosting workout is just what the doctor would order!

Even though the workouts have been lagging I have been trying to stay within my calorie range. I have been tracking daily, and seem to stay within a good range. I think the calorie range given to me on My Fitness Pal is a little low, so am not worrying about going a little over, like 150 calories over. Anything beyond that is definitely being flagged. Yesterday I really blew it by getting home late from work, dealing with the oh so not a blizzard that was coming and indulged a very unhealthy snack of sausage and cheese. I must have ate 75% of my calories in 10 minutes. Ouch. But I just acknowledged and moved on. Thats all I can do.

Today was another struggle. Some things happened at work that left me feeling pretty upset. On top of that I was so fatigued today. So when I got home from work I ended up taking a 2 hour nap and woke up feeling more awful. The first thing I did than was go to the kitchen. Normally I would of just ate something completely unhealthy, but this time I didnt. I knew how many calories I had left for the day, and I stuck within them and made healthy choices. Even afterwards I wanted something sweet, a treat. I stayed within my calorie range..why not? WRONG! Thats why I am where I am! So I distracted myself and in 15 minutes asked myself are you still hungry? And guess what? I wasnt. I was happy that I didnt give in to temptation. I decided to not eat my emotions. At that moment I realized that something is different this time around. I am changing behaviors, and it feels great.

I know these struggles will always be here. And as each struggle comes it gives me an opportunity to learn and grow. Opportunity....sounds much better than struggle, don't you think? :)

Feelin Good

2011-01-27T12:43:00.001-08:00

Has it really been over a week since my last post? I think I need more hours in the day!

I have to report that Im pretty pleased with the way things are going :) Nothing feels better than a week of detoxing, and getting back on track. The less bloated, more energy thing is definitely motivating!

I feel like Im settling into a nice schedule. Last week I brought lunches every day. I am noticing now how unhealthy our cafeteria at work is. If I forget my lunch the go to is always the salad bar option, but everything else would be like eating fast food! I have been grabbing the veggie of the day, along with these yummie fruit smoothies they recently added. Those are nice supplements to what I bring. I also have brought dinner on the two nights I have school. Its so nice to not come home famished and raid the fridge at 10pm. Looks like my salad containers did the trick. LOL I also added the My Fitness Pal app, (thanks Kristen!), and like anything new its so fun to track my calories! Accountability is my friend :)

The workout schedule has been tricky. I only got in 3 workouts last week, which was a little disappointing. I have decided to commit myself to morning workouts during the week when I can. I have really grown to love working out in the morning, which is something I never thought I would do! I am so not a morning person....I usually am not up for conversations at work till at least 9. Although Ill admit these morning workouts are making me more of a morning person ;) I love how these workouts wake me up. I dont drink coffee, so its like my morning coffee. :) I also think my workouts are pushed harder in the morning because Im not exhausted from a long day at work. As you can tell Im loving them. Ive committed to three morning workouts during the week. Completely doable, and I have those 3 completed already!

While my weekday balance seems to be working itself out...the weekend is another story! One thing at a time though. Weekend Warrior status will be in the near future though...I promise that!

Finding Balance

2011-01-16T18:06:00.000-08:00

If I learned anything this week is that I need to find balance. The holidays are over, and my schedule has picked up again. Work, school, buddha chick graduate courses, workouts, dogs, husband, housework, social life..oh my!

This week was a slap of reality. I went into the week with such high hopes and confidence, and while I tried to hold my own....I wasnt that successful. The whole week wasnt blown, but Ill admit my downs definitely outweighed my ups. But everyday is a new beginning, and tomorrow starts a new week! I re-evaluated where I went wrong and made some changes, so hopefully this week will have a little bit more balance.

One of the problems was food preparation. Ive always been good about preparing my fruits and veggies by cleaning and cutting them all up on Sunday. Usually I cut them all up and put them in one container. With the intention of packing them up every morning. Well that didnt work to well. I always ran out of time in the morning. So this week I went and bought plastic containers for each day of the week. Today I prepared salad containers for every day, as well as bagged my morning and afternoon snacks for each day. Just grab and go now. I know it seems ridiculous that I have to do that, but I know how I am...its all about convenience when times are busy. I feel good that this preparation will be a key to a successful week.

My workouts suffered this past week as well. Usually I go to cycling on Mondays and Wednesdays mornings. Well this semester I have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays till 10pm, which makes it hard to get up early the next day. So that puts a damper on my favorite workout class! After I was done sulking that I probably will have to skip one of those classes now, I sat down and scheduled in all my workouts for the week. Give and take - thats where I find the right balance of workouts.

One more thing that I noticed was difficult is going from work to class. Last semester I had a break where I could stop home and grab something healthy to eat before class. This semester I dont have that option. I do have extra time but Im at a campus that is closer to work, so going home would be a waste of time and gas. So I have planned out dinner options for those days, and plan on heading to the school an hour before class and have dinner in the cafeteria. This is a great time to catch up on some fun (not school) reading to. A nice "me time" before class. This could be difficult for me because usually I would just stay and get some extra work done before heading to class at the last minute. But this is part of finding balance. And I think Ill appreciate that little downtime in the middle of a busy day!

I have to keep in mind that its important to keep myself fueled through out the day. When I go to long without having a healthy snack I find myself making bad food decisions. Also it is important to get those planned workouts in. Its a great stress reliever, and overrall just makes me feel better when I workout. I have been so blah and grouchy this week without them!

I hope to report back with more successes this time next week! This is doable, I just have to find what the right balance for me is. Im such a creature of habit so the adjustment may take a little while, but Ill get there. :)

With that being said, cycling class is tomorrow at 5:30 so I better sign off and get to bed!

Measuring Up!

2011-01-10T17:41:00.000-08:00

Ive decided to track my success by measurements rather than by weight loss. Losing weight is a bit of a challenge for me due to medical issues...so its probably healthier (for my own sanity) to focus on measurements. Ill still planning on weighing in as well, but will probably do once a month measurements rather than weekly. I also will take progress pictures, right now I am to chicken to post the before ones. But I will commit to posting progress pictures after my first set of measurements. It will give me some time to build up the courage. :)

My starting measurements:

Weight: 184 (yes I gained 2lbs already, so sad isnt it?)

Waist: 41 inches

Mid Belly: 43 inches

Hips: 41 inches

Under Bust: 33 inches

Bust: 40 inches

Thigh: 26 inches

Arm: 13 inches

Sadly, Ive gained back all the inches I lost in a recent 8 week challenge of five 30 minute workouts a week. Amazing how a few weeks can undo so much hard work. Things have to change. They desperately have to change!

Ive also decided to join the Healthy You Challenge. I joined this challenge last year and found the support was amazing! I think one of the keys to success is surrounding yourself with a great support system. Online and offline! I look forward to getting to know everyone on the challenge and offering support where I can :)

One last thing - goals. Id like to set some small goals for the week just so Im not going into the week with my head in the clouds.

Workout 4-5 days this week
Eat veggies/fruits as my mid morning/mid afternoon snack
Limit my pop intake to every other day, only one 20 ounce on that day.

Just a few short goals, but 3 things that need to be worked on and are very attainable. Anxious to see what this week will bring!

The Year of...

2011-01-09T18:13:00.000-08:00

Running! Im pretty excited about it...although Im sure if you ask me in a few weeks I may not be so enthusiastic. Ha! I will probably will be going through a hate part of the relationship. But than shortly after that, Ill be back in the love phase :) Thats running in a nutshell, dont you think?

Every year I participate in the Breast Cancer 3 Day. A 60 mile walk in 3 Days raising Breast Cancer awareness. Well this year I decided I would take a year off. Not from the 3 day completely, but as a walker. Im going to participate as a crew member, which doesn't require months of training. Usually Ill have running in my workout regime from the Fall until around early Spring. The other months I am training for the 3 Day. Time to mix it up. So I decided I would make this the year of running!

I have been running since 2007. I wouldn't call myself a runner...more of a jogger. But I have a few races under my belt. I love running, and love races. I love the way it makes me feel, physically and emotionally. Its the one sport where I actually feel like an athlete. I have been easing back into running for the last month or so, and can comfortably run a 5k. So tomorrow I will officially start my year of running! I have my first goal set out for a spring race in April. Depending on how the next few weeks go I will decide the distance.

My husband bought me some workout clothes for Christmas. Unfortunately they were fitted so the sizes didnt fit my not so fitted body that great. lol So yesterday I spent a few hours in Sports Authority exchanging them. I swear this was this biggest Sports Authority Ive ever been in. I could have spent hours in there! And fortunately for me everything was on sale! I actually got double what I exchanged, for the same price :) I stocked up on some great winter outdoor running wear, so I am ready to go!

Find what motivates you and go with it! :)

I Never Was A Fan Of Rollercoasters

2011-01-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

Well the first week of 2011 has been quite an emotional ride. Its been pretty exhausting actually. I knew it would be a difficult week though. My dad passed a few years ago, and January 4th is his birthday. Its never been an easy day for me, but I thought maybe this year would be different. Mostly since the holidays this past year were really pleasant. Its been the first holiday season since he passed where I enjoyed the memory of him, instead of falling into the big black hole of depression. A guy I graduated with passed right after Christmas, and a manager at work lost her daughter at the early age of 40. I think those things on my mind may have brought some unexpected emotions.

Now what do I do when emotions are running wild? You got it, I eat. Emotional eating can be one hell of a fight. But it can be beat! I know because I have come out a warrior many times against emotional eating.

I wouldn't say Ive earned the title of warrior this week. So Im thinking back to the basics when I first tried to tackle the monster of emotional eating. What I need to remember is its all about choices. Do I want to make a good choice or bad choice? If I really stop, think about what Im about to do, and think about what the consequences will be.....a good choice should and can be made. I have followed that exact process a few times this week, and have made some great choices. One in particular was a workout over bumpy cake! That did feel pretty fabulous :) But at other times the stress was so high I didnt give myself time to think about what I was doing, and acted in not such a stellar way. And that didnt feel so fabulous.

Well enough is enough. The week is not over yet. I have 3 days to turn this week around! And that is what I intend to do.

Emotional eating your going down!

Fancy Seeing You Here!

2011-01-05T17:56:00.000-08:00

Am I really here again?

*sigh*

No use on crying over spilled milk eh?

I can only go up, (or technically down lol) from here! So first order of business.....the big weight number. Sadly I am at my heaviest weight ever, 20lbs heavier than where I was when I started this journey once before.

Starting weight: 182 pounds.

Yep, there I said it. Its out there for all of you to read. And I will admit its a little embarrassing. OK, maybe a lot. Time for a change, don't you think?

This journey is a little different for me. Its not an easy calories in, calories out plan. I have been diligently working on losing weight for the last 6 months. I actually just finished a 8 week workout challenge on December 26th. A challenge where I worked out 5 days a week! I fared pretty well on that challenge physically, but lost zero pounds. A half inch here and there, but no pounds at all. I have an autoimmune thyroid disease that has caused havoc on my body. I have many hormone imbalances and vitamin deficiencies that I have been working on since August. I also have found out that I have a wheat and dairy intolerance. So there have been many changes to my lifestyle in the last 6 months. I still have not found the key to weight loss in regards to the nutrition my body needs, so there will be more trial and error through out this journey. But Im up for the challenge. Im sick of being the fat fit girl. I want to look the way I feel! And I do think its possible!

So that is exactly why I picked this blog title. There is a chance that I wont be able to lose as much weight as Id like to, and Im sure it will be a very SLOW process. But I am coming to terms with that. I know I can drop inches, and I know I can tone (Ive seen muscles start to peek out!), and sooner or later I hope that my body will transform into looking the way I feel! So each imperfection is a blessing to me. Whether thats my weight gain, my food allergies, or whatever else I discover. The important part of each of these obstacles is theres a lesson to be learned. And I plan to appreciate each lesson that comes my way!

It wouldnt be a journey without obstacles right? Making stepping stones out of stumbling blocks, thats my story and Im sticking to it!

Here we go!